(F.P.): Psychological.
(G.V.): Did you discuss some important issues in the family at that time? Did you feel that decisions were made or that some-thing was not.
(F.P.): No, the main point is that in my family, decisions are never discussed, and therefore I still have no room to breathe. I discov-ered that my weakness during this influenza has a lot to do with my family and my youth. My brother suffered brain damage when he was a child, and now he is handicapped. He works in a work-shop for the handicapped. Consequently, I’ve always separated my medical history, or my fate, from his fate. I’ve always had his medical history and his fate in the back of my mind. He was constantly pushed by my parents; they always made too many demands on him. They made him perform. They never recognized his weaknesses, neither my mother nor my father.
(G.V.): What did this imply for you? They did not recognize his weaknesses, that means.
(F.P.): During my weakness in January, I recognized that this has a lot to do with my history. I’ve learned to cover up my short com-ings and my deficiencies whenever performance was required.(G.V.): Let me try and understand this point: your parents did not understand your brother’s weakness, and this affected you in what way? I want more.
(F.P.): I had to learn very early not to show any weaknesses. (G.V.): Why? What would have happened if you’d shown weakness?(F.P.): I probably would have received just as little recognition from my parents as my brother, (sobs)
(G.V.): Did you realize that your parents did not care about your brother? Is that what you are implying?
(F.P.): My brother was constantly criticized, and whatever he did wrong was pointed out to him.
(G.V.): Was it that you did not want to be put in the position of showing weakness for fear that you would be criticized as well? (F.P.): I think so.
(G.V.): There are no other children in the family, just you two?