(G.V.): What have you decided to do now? Are you going to stay with him or are you going to leave him?
(F.P.): I still don’t know, I haven’t decided that yet. I can’t reestab-lish that inner contact with him, my inner relationship with him.(G.V.): Are you sad about that?
(F.P.): Yes. I made a lot of effort, but still it hasn’t worked. (G.V.): Were you very passionate in your first relationship and did you feel disappointed later, or were you cool?
(F.P.): It took me a long time to gain the necessary confidence in that relationship; but once that confidence was established, I was prepared to invest everything I had into it. Things were okay for as long as I felt secure, but every time we physically moved from one place to another, I got the feeling that I might be put outside and be left alone, deserted.
(G.V.): Why did you move so often?
(F.P.): My boyfriend wanted to move around because he was a restless person: he didn’t want to stay at one university, so he went to another; then maybe he wanted to live in yet another town, a smaller town and with less traffic, things like that. I interpreted it as him not being very happy with me and that’s why he always needed a change of scenery. I was able to talk to him quite openly about it, but he always maintained that it was only a desire to do different things in different places. When the fourth move came I felt that things had come to a head. I saw no reason why we should move just for the sake of moving. I felt that the problem was really in our relationship.
(G.V.): Was this boy the same age as you?
(F.P.): He was two years older.
(G.V.): With this second relationship, was there any time at which you felt, almost intuitively before anything was said, that your boyfriend had started to lose interest in you?
(F.P.): Once when we went on holiday together in 1985. At that time I was concerned about how I was going to carry on my training. I’d almost finished my studies. I remember that I cried for an entire night.. I didn’t sleep, I just cried. I asked him how