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The Celle Seminars – Page 145

(M.P.): Sometimes.
(G.V.): What is it that you feel when you are depressed?
(M.P.): I feel that everything is very demanding and that I am tired of this life, of fighting for this kind of life.
(G.V.): And then what?
(M.P.): Then I sit there and do nothing.
(G.V.): Nothing. You don’t make decisions?
(M.P.): No. When I’m depressed I’m not able to do anything.(G.V.): What do you do? Can you describe your state when you are depressed? Do you just sit in a chair, or lie down, or do you go from a chair to the bed?
(M.P.): Yes, something like that. During those periods I very often just lie in bed. It’s like my brain were a desert, empty all around.(G.V.): You feel like you’re in a desert, isolated?
(M.P.): Yes, very isolated.
(G.V.): No connection with life?
(M.P.): Yes.
(G.V.): Do you have a girlfriend?
(M.P.): No.
(G.V.): Did you have a girlfriend before?
(M.P.): Yes.
(G.V.): How many have you had?
(M.P.): Do I have to answer?
(G.V.): You don’t have to answer if you feel embarrassed.
(M.P.): There weren’t that many. There have been three or four important relationships in my life; the others were more casual. (G.V.): Were you hurt by any of these relations? I mean, did you ever go through a painful break-up?
(M.P.): Yes, the last one was a heartbreaking relationship. (G.V.): When was that, what year?
(M.P.): When I was twenty-five.
(G. V.): Did you feel very tired afterwards? Did you see a con-nection between the two?
(M.P.): After we broke up I started doing a lot of different things, activities, because I thought I had to stay active to get over it.