Books

The Celle Seminars – Page 119

(G.V.): Is there any time in particular when you feel better or worse?
(M.P.): There is no one clear period of improvement during the day. I do know that the moment a demand is made on me, things deteriorate and it gets worse. I have to sort of really pull myself together, no matter what I do.
(Therapist): But then he really tries. I remember three years ago I wanted to bring him to Alonissos. He made arrangements for the trip so that he could go, but then things fell through. Even though it was difficult for him to work out the plans, he would have gone to Alonissos.
(M.P.): Whatever I do feels like a matter of life and death.
(G.V.): Do you perspire a lot?
(M.P.): Very easily.
(G.V.): Where?
(M.P.): On the head, neck, thorax.
(G.V.): Is your perspiration offensive?
(M.P.): I don’t think so.
(G.V,); Does your headache get worse when you are hungry? (M.P.): No.
(G.V.): Do you have any fears?
(M.P.): I don’t like walking in the woods alone. It’s not that I’m afraid of walking in the woods, but at the back of my mind there is this sort of fear that somebody might be lurking behind a tree. But this doesn’t actually stop me from walking in the woods. I’m able to rationalize my feelings even though I am slightly afraid.(G. V.): Do you also have this feeling when walking down streets alone?
(M.P.): No. It’s not precisely fear, it’s just that I seem to be inca-pable of doing anything right. For example, if I go shopping, I wonder in the back of my mind whether people are trying to cheat me or not; I have the feeling that they might.
(G.V.): Where do you find your sexual outlet?
(M.P.): I remember pictures I’ve seen and I’ve watched films.