Books

The Celle Seminars – Page 311

(G.V.): How many years were you married?
(F.P.): Seven years, and one child.
(G.V.): Can you tell me why you decided on a divorce? First, let me ask you something easier.
(F.P.): It would have been a good question to ask. (laughs) (G.V.): Was your first husband a very vivid person, or very closed?(F.P.): As closed as I was. He was just the wrong man. But he was the first man who made me stand up to my parents, that impressed me. I was twenty-one years old at the time. I didn’t notice that I was going from one dependent relationship to another and that this was the main problem. When I finally realized that I had gotten into another dependent relationship, I just did not have the strength or ability to free myself again from that sort of rela-tionship. I allowed myself to be taken over, and I still have that problem today. I always seem to have someone who takes me over, or I feel taken over by that person.
(G.V.): Do you feel that when you have contact with someone, the contact is easily deepened?
(F.P.): It’s the kind of contact that I can’t get away from again. When I try to get out of it I find that I need a lot of vehemence; it’s a sort of panic.
(G.V.): Do you need to feel that you are very close to one person, or to several different people?
(F.P.): I tend to be very distant or I’m not able to maintain dis-tance. I don’t have enough internal boundaries.
(G. V.): Does this apply just to your relationships with men, or to all people in general?
(F.P.):It could be anyone, even one of my children. I’m the one who tries to keep the distance because I get the feeling that the person is going to swallow me up emotionally. Maybe others have the same feeling about me. I don’t know, but I think so.(G.V.): Do others think you are too attached to them?
(F.P.): Maybe, like the problems with my second husband.
(G.V.): Were you too attached to him, or was he too attached to you?