(F.P.): Yes.
(G.V.): And for religious reasons?
(F.P.): In 1963, things were very different.
(G.V.): But nevertheless you had a sexual relationship with your husband before getting married?
(F.P.): Yes.
(G.V.): Why? Out of love, attraction…?
(F.P.): Certainly love played a part, but perhaps I was also lonely at the time. The relationship with my husband began in another way: I think I was looking for help getting out of a messy puberty, as I viewed my life then.
(G.V.): Why did puberty turn out to be a mess?
(F.P.): It was unfortunate because I believed, for example, that there should be no sex before marriage. This was the classical moral view at that time, and I certainly shared the view that sex before marriage was undesirable and impractical. That’s why my internal fears lead me to escape into my illness when I was faced with a sexual relationship.
(G.V.): Did you desire sex, or were you afraid of it?
(F.P.): I believe both at the same time. When I had a relationship, I enjoyed it very much, but afterwards I became worried about it. I think this is a conflict for all young people today; I think it’s very normal. But back then things were very different.
(G.V.): Did you have a strong sexual urge at the age of sixteen or seventeen?
(F.P.): I would not really describe it as a strong sexual urge. I would simply say that I felt very much attracted to a person whom I considered to be very nice.
(G.V.): At the age of sixteen?
(F.P.): Yes.
(G.V.): Were you disappointed by that first love?
(F.P.): No. In that particular relationship I left the man con-cerned because I had an inferiority complex. Right or wrong, I simply felt inferior to him.
(G.V.): So you left him?