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The Celle Seminars – Page 61

would I behave if my wife had come to collect me and I was in a conversation? I told myself that, whether as the wife or the husband, if someone had come to collect me and I could see that they were worried, my reaction would have been, “Well, I’ll stop at this point, we’ll talk some other time.” To emphasize my point, you should know that the discussion was just a marginal discussion, and the Presbyter she was talking to was a young, single man.
(G.V.): Ah, a young man. (addresses patient) Briefly, what is your side of the story?
(F.P.): The meeting hadn’t been over long when my husband arrived. I can understand that my husband was worried at the time. In that situation, if I would have been my husband and was afraid that something had happened with the car, I would have gone up to us and said, “Well look, you know, I’ve been terribly worried.” If he had approached me in this way, I could have integrated him into the situation and then everything would have been okay. But things didn’t work out this way. If they had, then that would have been the end of it. Instead he used this incident as further support for his jealousy, which really had begun much earlier. For example, in 1978, when I was in the process of getting my driver’s license, my husband objected to me doing it alone; he always wanted to be there for my driving lessons. This was a constant source of psychological stress for me. I was constantly worried at the time, but I wasn’t sure of what I was really wor-ried about. When I passed my driver’s test I had to sign a letter, written by my husband, in which I had to swear by God, or by something like that, that under no circumstances and at no time ever had I had any sexual relations with my driving instructor. This is just an example of the level these difficulties had reached at that time. Our problems began in 1978, and it is against the background of these difficulties, which covered a period of years, that I personally see my first attack.
(G.V.): The first attack was in 1981, is that right? How do you feel now? What is your emotional state at the moment?