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Materia Medica Viva – Volume 2 page 382

poetic manner, to the other extreme of withdrawal, depression and sulkiness.
The Antimonium crudum person usually feels that he has been badly treated by others and that he deserves better, but such sentiments are passively felt and not talked about. He will not complain; he is reluctant to discuss a disturbing situation, to offer his point of view. He feels that he will not be understood and, consequently, that discussion is a waste of time.
When the Antimonium crudum individual attempts to initiate amorous contact with another person, his overtures are always so sentimentally couched and intense that the other recoils from them, often reacting as if something were wrong with her suitor. Antimonium crudum perceives this repellence and is deeply hurt.
If he goes out into a moonlit night with his girlfriend, the moonlight has a tremendous effect upon his emotions. He feels inspired by the moonlight; his emotions are brought to such a height that he can hardly control them. He will then express himself in a poetic or artistic way. This inclination is so strong that he will do it inspite of his suspicions that his behavior is not going to be understood by his girlfriend and that he may be ridiculed. At this point others will think of him as being a bit "crazy." Do not anticipate that the Antimonium crudum patient will tell you during the consultation that he becomes sentimental in the moonlight, as if it were a symptom, for he thinks that this behavior is natural.
After such an incident, he will go home and not stop thinking about it; recurring thoughts of the incident keep him awake at night. He becomes depressed, miserable, and he does not want to live in this world any more. At this point he will be bothered by stomach cramps or pains. His hemorrhoids or headaches may also flare up, and all this physical suffering adds to his misery. He thinks he is not fit to live in today’s world, that he should have lived a century ago when people were more romantic and sentimental. He wonders what is going to happen to him, where he will end up. He becomes anxious about his future.
After many such events as the above he comes to loathe life, and the actual desire to die surfaces. As he goes to bed, his mind becomes constantly fixated upon the idea of shooting himself. Sometimes these thoughts are so tormenting, so persistent that he has to get out of bed